Board Certified Behavior Analyst Emily Teratsuyan is providing tips on how to respond to kids’ challenging behavior.

In order to reduce your child’s challenging behavior, it is important to understand Why the behavior is occurring. Your child can engage in a behavior- to escape or avoid a task or demand, to access tangible, to get attention or reaction. Figuring out the reason will help you understand what your child is trying to get out of behaving that way, and you can replace that behavior with a new, more appropriate one using strategies that will help to minimize those behaviors. By giving him/her want he/she wants, you will strengthen that behavior, and in the future, he/she will more likely do it again.

When should I offer a reward -before or after a child exhibits a behavior?
Always reward your child’s appropriate behavior, but never offer the reward before your child exhibits that desired behavior. When the reward comes before the desired behavior, it loses its reinforcing effect and becomes bribery.
Bribery looks effective over the short term; however, it invites negotiation, and your child will get into a pattern of first thinking whether the reward is worth the effort.

What is more effective, reinforcement or punishment?
Reinforcement is always preferred over punishment, but sometimes reinforcement alone is not sufficient to change behavior. If you have to resort to punishment for undesired behavior, make sure to combine it with reinforcement for a desired behavior. Keep in mind that punishment itself will not teach your child appropriate and alternative behavior. It will only teach your child what not to do.

Why telling “Stop doing it” doesn’t work with my child?
When you tell your child not to engage in inappropriate behavior, always teach him what behavior you expect him to engage instead. It is an effective way to decrease challenging behavior and, at the same time, teach him something new. And immediately reward your child when he demonstrates the replacement behavior.

I try to ignore my child’s inappropriate behavior; his behavior gets even worse.
When your child used to get what he wanted by engaging in inappropriate behavior, and now the reinforcement for that behavior had been removed, your child will try to obtain the desired item by engaging in other novel behaviors because “the old” behavior no longer works. Do not give up and continue to not reinforce challenging behavior. At the same time, teach your child the expected behavior and immediately reward if he demonstrates that.